The Impersonalization of Eroticism

The Impersonalization of Eroticism

With the vast number of opinions being pinned onto the origin of motivation to rape and commit forms of sexual violence in our communities, it has become extremely important for us as individuals to investigate the source of this kind of behavior. When I mention the word source, I am indicating the source within ourselves and not the people in society who commit these actions. While we are an intellectually advanced species, most of our investigations begin with unfounded assumptions and we often choose to resonate with dull conclusions that strongly support our emotional and sentimental inclinations as opposed to actual reality. In this matter, we can use neither psychological, scientific, nor philosophical enquiry to arrive at the direct source. Instead, we each need to directly investigate within ourselves what is the source of sexuality itself. Biological sexuality is extraordinarily simple. But the human race has colored sexuality with a variety of shades and, in the process, has lost complete touch with the beauty and purpose of this function. We are now faced with a tremendously powerful monster that governs our actions, dreams, and thoughts – psychological sexuality. Of course, this counts for thousands of years of conditioning and we must be very careful as we begin to investigate the sexual process within ourselves. The easiest thing to do is to continue our lives by assigning sex and eroticism their regular roles of pleasure and procreation and to term those who misuse them as rapists and criminals who deserve worse than the guillotine or the electric chair. This is a blind and foolish commitment to convenience and with our limited investment of energy into the investigation of these matters, we allow our society to continue to rot with its blind conclusions on a force of energy that is pivotal in understanding the most important tool that we use to express our existence – the body. We must begin this investigation in ourselves, and the best place to start is to identify the source of the drive that motivates us to seek sexual communion with another being.

As little children, our first contact with our sexuality is the bubbling of pure sensation within the body when we observe someone of the opposite sex. This is a direct flow of energy created by the body’s perception of another body that is shaped differently from its own physical form. The difference, of course, extends to a variety of features including fragrance, voice, movement, and so on. There is absolutely no psychological coloring in this pure sensual connection. The fever flows through and it passes. These sensations come and go whenever they are triggered and the body neither tries to understand nor hold onto them while simply allowing them to flow through. As the mind develops with external conditioning and constant pruning, curiosity leads it to color repetitive sensations of high intensity that occur in the body. Undoubtedly, the sensations that are of the highest intensity are sexual sensations that arise with contact with the opposite sex. Now, even in these moments, these sensations are allowed to flow through easily although they flow through two apparent entities – a body and a mind. With the advent of experiences that begin to enforce the existence of a separate entity that each of us confidently call “I”, we come to see that this I begins to have preferences. Essentially, I is nothing but a powerful thought that lodges itself as an elusive permanent entity within the human body and then begins to filter experience as pleasurable and non-pleasurable. When this apparent I looks out of the body, it allows itself to be colored preferentially by the information that it is exposed to. The bombardment of sexual information that we receive in everyday society inevitably forces this elusive I to protect sensations within the body associated with sexuality and then sets forth a series of actions to force the body to bring appeasement to these sensations. Now remember, the sensations are nothing but pure energy flowing through the body. The “I” is nothing but a thought that has lodged itself due to habit and conditioning in the body. The mind is nothing but a series of thoughts with gaps between them. What existed before all of this happened? There was pure awareness! Always, at every moment, impersonal, unconditioned and always awake. Even in the presence of bodily sensations and the I thought, this awareness does not disappear because if it did, it is impossible to have sensations and thoughts. Have you ever wondered why you have no memories of when you were just one year old? The I thought is generated as the brain begins to develop the ability to think. However, the I thought is not representative of your real identity and, therefore, is not representative of life itself. We can consider the “I” thought as a mechanism that promulgates the forgetting of awareness due to which a multitude of experiences becomes available to the body and mind. The most intense of these experiences is sexual intercourse as the mind tends to color with intensity the sensations of the body that are most intense physically. Stay with me. I want you to investigate within yourself as we proceed. It would be useless if we drift away into some baseless philosophical discussion.

The current experience that you have of yourself as a separate identity is just what it is, an experience. It is not you and when it perishes with the death of the body, awareness does not perish. The body and the mind arise in this awareness and dissolve into it. When we allow ourselves to cook a little in the juices of this realization, we begin to see the absolute lightness of all of experience. The heaviness, pain, and suffering that has been caused by sexuality in our world is only a reflection of our unquestioned identification with the “I” thought. When something is personal, it becomes important. Have you ever investigated the source and nature of this personality? Remove the feeling of “I” from sexuality. Entirely eliminate the “I” from sexual intercourse, friendship, social relationships, and so on. Doesn’t it all become such a grand display of playfulness? Obviously, the first thought that arises in your mind is how is existence possible without “I”? Have you ever investigated? When you look within yourself and seek this entity called “I”, do you find it? When you go to sleep, is this “I” present? Of course not! Well, did the body perish when the “I” disappeared? No! Remember, from the “I” thought, the thought that the “I” is the body is born. But both of these thoughts are just what they are – thoughts! The apparent “I” goes out into the world seeking another I that can make it complete. These so-called love relationships, or marriage, or simple sexual communion are nothing but elusive projections of the belief that one is a separate self. I am not proposing that these things should not happen. When you understand the true nature of who you are, pure awareness, you cease to seek happiness in whatever endeavor you commit yourself to. The world becomes a playground in which you can express your infinitely beautiful being. And wow, sexual intercourse is perhaps the most important action a being can indulge in to recognize its shared being with another body. It is a celebration of true love and oneness. It is not out of sex that love is born but out of love that sex is born. Love is not a selective process that relies on prettiness and ugliness, on the ability to fulfill the needs and desires of another person; these are childish misunderstandings. Love is the inherent state of our being. It is the inevitable oneness of existence. Awareness is not separate from some other awareness. “I” thoughts can be separate, but the awareness from which they spring is one and the same and that awareness is the true nature of each and every one of us.

Now, when we tackle the rapist, are we to point fingers? We can temporarily resolve a situation like this by passing some form of government policy that helps this “I” thought lodged in your body to find appeasement when it rests cozy in bed at home. We can come up with a host of different solutions to outwardly tackle violent behavior from men that harms women. But, how can we continue to remain under the stupid pinhole assumption that suppressing these undesired external elements can resolve this issue? Is it not so easy to see that the origin of the rapist lies in the fundamental structure of our schooling, upbringing, and conditioning? Our culture has been subtly designed to ensure the empowerment of the “I” thought that fuels the feeling of separation from the rest of the universe. A separate mind will inevitably seek a solution to fill in the void that its separation creates. Now ninety-nine out of hundred separate minds will choose some form of activity other than rape to try and fill this void. There will always be one mind that somehow stumbles upon violence and decides that it is the only solution. You can go ahead and eliminate this outlier, but does that mean that these outliers will stop getting produced? Our global culture of separateness is responsible for the violence in our world. You can choose to be lazy and march on a street with a banner in your hand to spread awareness of this so called “need for change”, but you will need neither spread any awareness nor effect any change. Go to the root of the problem. Be brave! Why is it so hard for us to investigate the source of our own suffering? Why are we so content with settling for half-baked solutions? Are we not interested in the truth? We are so distracted by the incessant whimpering of our own minds that we never stop to investigate – where does this mind come from?

It is easy now to ask yourself, “If I change, will he change?” This is the wrong question to ask. The correct question to ask is, “Who am I?” Am I this woman who fears being raped? Am I this man who fears being raped? To change the very fundamental structure of our culture, we need to produce a generation of human beings that are self-aware. We initiate this production by bringing up our children in a manner that they do not feel separate from the rest of the world. Why fuel feelings of patriotism, femininity, masculinity, religious loyalty, political loyalty, and all these others idiotic sentiments? Do we want to construct a global community that is fitted with bolts and screws or do we want to construct a living organic force that drinks from the fountains of its own natural state of love and connection between the elements that create it? Do not be a fool that rides the vicious wave of hatred and separation created by our predecessors.

Love is impersonal. Existence is impersonal. Discover the impersonal nature of your being. When you shine the light of your awareness on this “I” thought that apparently exists inside your body, you will be free. Look at the multitude of beautiful forms in this universe that express the infinity of their source. You can look deeply into something as fragile as the eyes of a woman and discover the immense expanse of your own marvelous being. Every leaf, every smile, and every cloud will carry an invisible sacredness that touches you deeply as you move through life. Simply turn around and investigate this “I” that you believe yourself to be. All that is left to do in this marvelous existence is celebrate. Sexual intercourse must be a creative expression of your understanding of this intimate oneness with everything that is. Don’t repress it, don’t hide from it, don’t avoid it. When you have come to the important realization of who you truly you are, you can dive deep into the deepest orgasm in your experience and discover that it is no match for the bliss and ecstasy that you inherently are.

March on, you wonderchild!

-Screamjack

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Monsoon Memories

Monsoon Memories

It’s monsoon here, and a perfect time through the seasons of the world in which this very sunny friend of mine celebrates his birthday.

We have this little temple across the road called ‘Rose Garden’ where most of our memories our cherished with rum, whisky, doubtful chicken dishes, and a famed specialty called egg burjee that washes down very delectably with the cheapest of rum imaginable.

There’s something about bars and birthdays, a marriage made between them that nobody should dare to explain. You might wonder how alcoholic my soul is when I tell you that a birthday without alcohol is like Christmas without wine.

Anyway, today feels too hot to write any sort of poetry. I thought I’ll stick down a few of my inner movements onto prose. It was quite a quick week, days flowing by on my office floor, racing by, the weekend is mostly going to fly by even faster. The problem with having a job is it makes you feel like the things that make you who you are slip out all too fast like sand through your fingers.

The fellow in the picture, Pramod (middle). All too often he reminds me of normality after I get home from work. We sit in our temple, with rum and speak of the ugly side of humanity. And then we speak of women, and then of better ways to get high and then finally about our eternal conflict with the natural movement of life. These conversations remind us that it’s the little things in life, so often small talk and careless gossip that helps us feel alive. Our ponderings over the abstract and spiritual so often disconnect us from reality and throw us into a realm of endless reasoning and worry and we forget that being alive is mostly about the little movements instead of the big ones.

My rum with this fellow on the many evenings of the year help me remember these things. And I guess I’d say his birthday is a day on which I can celebrate the man, a friend who I’ve cherished for years now and will continue to do so, hopefully in ways that are beyond just the bottles and wasted dreams on moonlit night skies on the dimly lit terrace of Rose Garden Bar.

Happy Birthday buddy!