I acted like tragedy,
Was some bad thing
That would make life,
In the eventual sense,
An absolute tale of absolute nonsense
Wasted, to be forgotten,
A sprint in the wastelands of eternity,
That always ends badly, only badly

I don’t know, if I’m mistaken,
If I’m right
People value happiness so much,
Joy, and peace, and wonder, and magic
The world glorifies goodness,
Like it was the only thing worth living for
How can we forget pain?
We forget so easily,
Sorrow, tragedy, loss, death
How can we forget what these things teach us?
I’ve ended my dance between the edges of life
Between the colorful rainbows that piss happiness upon the world
And the fears and shivers of skulls, that remind us of our truer nature

I always doubted these prophets,
Who promised peace to the world
Like giving candy to babies who were crying,
Entirely unaware of what this playground was about
I have a thing against happiness now,
Against joy
I don’t want any of it anymore,
I don’t want pain either
Sorrow, neglect, hatred,
All of it seems like a lost dream
That I hold onto,
Not because of some high purpose,
But simply because they make me, me.

I am sorrow, I am happiness,
And I seek the two like they are different from me
I have said so many things in the many monsoons of humanity
I have shed tears and hated women,
Hurt parents and fed bullshit to young men,
Who needed security
But life makes weary of all men who give curiosity kisses in the darkness
I am weary, and life leaves me slowly,
Everyday,
Like ash that falls off the tip of a long cigarette

We take who we are for granted,
And live our lives like skeletons in a place we do not belong to
Who are we to belong anywhere?
The me that I thought was me is not there
I don’t see it anywhere
All I know that exists is the frustration of the search
And that frustration must end now

I am sorrow in the darkness of tomorrow’s fake twilight,
Spreading like a virus into the hearts of aging men
I am sorrow, like light in the graveyards of history,
Bringing solace to the dead,
Reminding them they never died
Nobody exists, and hence nobody dies

I want this sorrow to end
Symbols and paintings that light up,
The endless halls of this drunken god’s imagination
After losing blood to the psalms of goodness and salvation,
After being scathed and torn by the scrutiny of men like my own self
After losing every last bit of my sensible sociality,
I come to you today
Sweet mother of all mothers,
I come to you,
To die
And see for myself,
If I will be allowed to see
How I never was,
How I never will be,
And hence,
Never can die

In your arms sweet mother of the soil,
To the aching twinkle of your sweet singing,
I will shed this coat of bone and blood,
And see the nothingness of all nothings
The only thing there is, the sweet nothing,
Beyond the dream of this dreaming self
The nothing, in which all things, are.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s